I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

I am venting here so I don't do it anywhere else. I'm feeling down today. It's our neighbor/friend/former EA birthday today. H wrote something nice on her FB timeline. It wasn't inappropriate at all- but I'm just feeling chitty about myself and so it really bothered me.
My birthday is in two days- wonder what he will write on mine- " thanks for being a great mom to our kids- sorry I kinda love you but destroyed our family" ....
Yes I know I'm being ridiculous and that's why I'm putting it here.

I'm beginning to think the LBS' cycle more often as we reach closer to acceptance b/c despite the fact H and I aren't interacting much except for kid stuff- I feel like I'm spinning.

So on a good note I saw this on FB today and knew God meant for me to see it:
" some people have a spiritual mark on them, a designation that says " when the right thing needs to be done and no one else will do it..... You're it". People that have it will know it- they will look back on their lives and realize that whenever something was wrong, others looked to them for change. It isn't easy. Lots of times, people with that mark get worn down and tired. They just wish that someone else would be the support they could lean on in their own hard times. It doesn't work that way. They are built to stay steady even when expectations are at their highest. If you're one of those with this mark please accept my encouragement. It is hard but the joy of knowing you have pleased the One that put that mark on you surpasses any acknowledgement that another human being could ever give you. "

Wow- that is me- and I am often weary because there is no one else to lean on. At least I have a glimpse of why. And I'm reminded I need to lean on Him.