Perhaps I am too hung up on the words "remedy" and "busting" - MLC is such an insidious condition. I was not married to a serial cheater. Up until a few months ago I would have trusted him completely. I never had a moment's pause and neither did anyone else. I am not saying he was perfect or the marriage was either but basically it was all really loving and kind and honest.
I too .. felt this way .. umm .. errr .. welcome to the club? MLC is a vicious horrible roller coaster. And at some point .. like you said above ... all you can do is work on you, and give the rest to God. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, in a way we are asked to stuff our feelings, anger, frustrations in a hurt-locker and sit on them until our WAS-MLCrs army crawl out of their tunnels. Its a marathon, pace yourself and when you need .. take a little time out, get your wind, and regroup.
Originally Posted By: 123Gwen
Now I am questioning the last 25+ years and my ability to judge a person's character. It is scary stuff. I am legally married to someone who looks like my husband but is so far off the rails he has only contacted me twice in 4 months because he is trying to trade in the car and I won't sign the title. All he cares about is the car. Not his kids, not the dog and not me.
Nobody can see the MLC coming, its hind sight at this point .. I know I have read things .. like that "Why Do They Run" post ... and said .. I should have seen this coming .. but ya know what .. I had no idea I married a woman who had such issues and history that would turn her this way.
Originally Posted By: 123Gwen
That is another silver lining - I mean if he just had issues with the marriage the man I married would still be a father but he left them too. While is it is awful that he quit being a parent it kind of validates that something is very, very wrong. He was agood Dad for many, many years. I mean OW is not worth leaving them behind too and he let her prey on all of us. He is treating us all like trash he left back on the side of the road. Sorry just hitting that anger phase.
Something else to brace for ... ok .. All This ^^^^^ he will HAVE to deal with when leaving the tunnel, that alone most likely will shoot him back into it, shame alone .. then having to try to make things right ... do prepare yourself to try to make this process easier (planting a seed here). I know in my sitch ... W is ashamed at what she did, she has begun mending with S, but I do fear she feels I will not forgive/forget ... something I myself must work on. I try to remain calm and be the rock, the lighthouse .. its all I can do.
Gwen ... you are doing wonderfully, you can not control WAH, he must walk the walk and take the journey, sounds like he left so much behind, I pray for you and your family .. just know this is a long journey we all must endure.
