Houston (smurf)... we have a problem. I am not trying to make you wrong. Your reply would be accurate if you had the story straight.
Starsky... am I supposed to not set the story straight? The corrected version would be speaking the truth & therefore REAL advice could be given from that point. I agree however, that part of my dysfunction is not being able to see ALL things clearly. please read below:
SEE? I post and it gets twisted.. not sure why this happens!!
When he invited me to dinner (pizza) & I declined to be with my daughter... I did just that. I spent the night with my daughter and fell asleep early. The next day, he asked for dinner again (eggs). My daughter was pleased. I was finally making her a priority (need to do this more often).... Smurf got this mixed up & therefore the advice given doesn't apply.
And.. what about GAL?... why do you think I am not GAL? I have posted about my GAL activities...
However, I do agree... that when he whistles, I go running. I want to change this and have asked for suggestions that do not come across as games. I have specifically asked "how"? Due to the nature of our business (on call), when he makes a suggestion to hang out with him, he "knows" the work schedule & I cannot say "can't, have work to prioritize". This would come across as game playing. Keep in mind we work 9am-9pm. Please explain further.
MLC?... why do you say he is not MLC. The guy was full blown MLC since before BD, has all kinds of symptoms & behaviours of MLC.
However, accurate again on me pressurizing, clingy & needy (at BD).. not during our relationship & not during the past 2 years. I am working to not be that way again!
OK... I do see it as piecing because of his actions & words. I do agree that his testosterone level is up too... what man's isn't? If HE says he is "working on us" and HE "feels" like he is, and HE makes gestures other than sex related, and HE tries to do nice things for me.... isn't that the beginning?
As for the business... HE "says" things to our clients like "our" place, since "we" bought this place, etc. He is allowing others to know this is "ours"... not "his". Why would we be splitting the business IF we were trying to reconcile now?
Yes, in order to love someone you have to respect them... I think he has been respecting me more and more. I sense him searching for ways to satisfy me. He is really talking & speaking nicer/kinder to me, asking me my opinion "what do you want to do (food/fun stuff/ideas/places)"?, being open to seeing each other more, trying to come up with ideas on how to break free from our work/work day, sharing, etc...
I am trying to get out of my "puppet" ways... this is 180 and requires MUCH discipline. I am working on it. Its just not natural all the time, yet.
Smurf... you suggest I am a puppet.. yet, when I try to empower myself by NOT jumping at his request (picking up a vehicle), you tell me its wrong.... I mentioned it was not priority. Why is it childish? 180 for me because I normally jump (like you said I do). Yes, I do see that bidding on my own empowers me.. however, it was his WAY of going about it (leaving me hanging, etc) that was off.
Also, he went to sleep (so he said)... he was not on/under/in vehicles like you suggest. However, point made.... The OLD MM, used to call at the wrong time. I barely call/text him at all now.
OHHH... one thing I have come to realize that I believe Sandi help me to realize is that I feel the need to clarify, etc is because I want to feel closure.
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/21/1403:36 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
