Despite 10 years of infidelity and what amounts to almost one illicit partner for each of those years, I have decided for the time being to stick things out. W says she has been humbled and believes I am the strongest man in the world, and that she now sees what true love is. She acknowledges that I may wake up weeks or months from now and realize that I just can't do it anymore and decide to leave.
My friends all think I'm crazy for staying, or for not making W leave. W's parents think I'm an amazing man. My MIL told W that she always loved me but in light of how I'm handling this and my decision to stay she loves me even more now, and that while W's father (who W always put on a pedestal) is a great man, W needed to bear in mind that I am just as good if not better.
Our MC thinks we are amazing in that we can even be in the same room with each other, never mind being committed to working this out. She said 99.99% of couples would have been easily undone. MC asked me how I was able to come to the decision that I had, and I told her this: For the past few years of my life I have been on a spiritual journey (not to sound too cheesy). I am committed to getting "this" right..."this" being life in general and everything in it. I don't have the existential doubt that I used to have. I know what the meaning of life is, for me. And that is to always try to act from a place of love, no matter what. I have seen a massive transformation in my own life and in all of my relationships as a result of this endeavor and the proof is in the pudding that it is the right path for me. If I give in to the anger and hostility and self-doubt cause by my wife's infidelity it would be ruinous... Instead I continue to choose to act from a place of love, with my eyes wide open. I am no dummy; I know the road ahead will be rocky and difficult at times, but I will walk it with love and see where it takes me and my family. If I walk it with pain and anger and fear and resentment...well...I know where that leads, and it's nowhere good.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
