I cannot accept that this is it.

[lostluv]

good advice here in this thread. I too am reading it as it is directed at me (im pretty sure it already has been but phrased a little different haha).

I absolutely agree that it is VERY hard...i'm struggling myself. As a matter of fact, i don't post in many threads because I feel I'm not really ready to GIVE advice since I'm struggling so badly myself. However, zues and 25 are giving some good points .

and to add to the "meet your own needs", I'm realizing that may be where I started going wrong to begin with as well. I'm reading NMMNG and that is the part that hit me the most. when I meet my wife, i was confident, had friends, did my own thing and shared it with my wife. over the 4 years of our marriage, I neglected my needs thinking that my family and home were more important than what I needed. I realize now that actually built resentment and possibly some anger that I unintentionally took out on my wife indirectly.

I'm struggling with the GAL because I feel obligated to home but am really trying.

oh, don't worry about feeling like a pansy and crying! it's normal. if it didn't bother you or make you feel hurt that would mean there is something wrong with you. I spent the first two months breaking down in tears every day...sometimes several times in a day. Luckily, i'm starting to dry up and have managed to only cry once or twice a week and I try to do it when no one is around .

good luck and work on the detaching < - - that sounds so hypocritical coming from me because it's my biggest struggle