Wife in denied but ongoing affair, what to do???

[blndsid]

Today was rather interesting. We had an exchange of emails that started with her sending me her itinerary for her flights and her comment like: you already have this, but just in case. I f'd up and replied that I was tired of the lying, and sneaking and that I hoped one day to have a truthful conversation about the past several months.

This basically opened the floodgates regarding the fact that somehow I knew what was going on (snooping too much) and that I had to destroy any records I had of the A before she'd talk, etc. My responses were apologetic in that I didn't mean to start a full blown R talk via email. Her replies were pretty colorful and I kept mine calm and vague. Hard to tell how she reads them, as all I say or do is attacking her or otherwise wrong.

I went to work for a few hours and W was home when I pulled in. She was getting clothes together and I brought up the email exchange. I didn't want to go a whole week without draining the wound. Honestly, for all the hostility I was glad she was showing some emotion about the R.

Apparently she read through my text messages to my best man and didn't like what she read. We have discussed all different angles to my switch and some rubbed her wrong. I told her he was my best man and sounding board. I said you have OM to talk to, I have him. Best man is currently in another country, so I considered him far enough away to be inert, and trustworthy as hell, well beyond my wife for sure.

We had it out but eventually calmed down. No yelling, but she raised her voice a few times. I didn't give up my methods but told her I was done snooping for various reasons. She even asked if I'd hired a PI. Then said she was sending horrendous texts just to hurt me assuming I was reading them (which I can't, luckily). Apparently f-ing another person is ok, but snooping is one of the 7 deadlies.

Anyhow, it calmed down and she went to her mom's for a while with boys, to talk trash or trial S I'm sure. I bought groceries and cooked dinner.

So much more went on but that was the short version. She continues to lie and say it's over. Repeatedly. I've decided I don't or can't care anymore. I'm looking forward to a week without her lying to me and me snooping to my detriment. I called this hell week before, but maybe time apart will be good for us. No more snooping, I can do this. It's funny how ticked she got, not knowing what I know, but I doubt it helped our sitch. This week is all about letting go. Wish me luck.