Recent Separation...trying to cope

[dil]

So she also worked and expected her to clean most of the time. So prior to the BD, how many times have you been romantic to her? What was the issue with sex? Did you not want it?

It was actually not that often that I would expect her to clean, it was the fact that she never offered to help was what bothered me the most, otherwise I'm usually just fine doing it myself, it was just this one time that for some reason it just bothered me more than others.

I suppose in the last few months before BD I was romantic a few times. I would randomly say I love you when she wouldn't expect it. I would rub her back at times and assure her that I loved her. I'm reading 5LL and now know that her main LL is physical touch. She always loved being hugged, kissed and hold hands. Things which I did do a lot, but the sex part of physical touch LL I know is an area I severely lacked. I admit that I did not do enough to initiate times for intimacy and that is something I need to work on.

I think that both of us were somewhat uncomfortable talking about sex, how often we wanted it, how important it was to us and therefore expected that it would just happen when the times were right. There were times when I've wanted sex and she would reciprocate but those times were few, a lot of it being because of the porn would kill my sex drive, and therefore caused me just not initiate. Or she would initiate sometimes and even though I wanted it, I told her I wasn't in the mood and couldn't pull myself together because my drive just wasn't there and really felt ashamed.