I mean.... My job? GREAT first day! Love, love, love these people already. My boss is a GREAT guy. Several people in the office told me I will love working for him. I know it's early, but there were several things throughout the day that confirmed this is an amazing fit. I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!
A few times today, I caught myself feeling overwhelmed, self conscious, intimidated.... And started coaching my way into a better mindset. I reminded myself, hey, I know this stuff. That no one here is out to get me. I will need to be aware of this more, since I slipped backwards a year ago at my last job, and by the end, I felt very small.
So, some business to take care of. Details:
New job doesn't know anything about my sitch (of course).
Looking at the benefit package....currently, H carries our medical, dental, and vision. In the event we D, I'm looking at $450/month to cover my kids. Another option, is that xh (kids' father) could take them onto his, and that would be factored in and taken out of child support from him.
At first, I was considering enrolling us at my work, to have that "reminder" off of H mind and give him less of "us" to be tied to. But....I don't make much $$ anymore, and to pay medical insurance for my kids and myself? I would have to get rid of my car, and some other stuff would change. We are not starving, but we don't exactly have disposable income, either. That chunk would have a big impact.
If I had to, I'd make it work, but I don't think I should have to sacrifice even more...$450 per month, VOLUNTARILY, just so H feels better? That sounds insane. If he D me, then so be it. I'll worry about it then. I can't stop him anyway.
So, wack me if you must, but I reached out to H today by email. Part of it was due to the benefits thing, and my curiosity of whether he would respond with demands and more mention of D.
The other part.... Hmm. I just wanted to hear from him, see if he would even respond, test the waters and see if we are on non-speaking terms, idk.
I can tell you THIS, I was completely ready for whatever he threw at me. Zero fear, zero expectations. Also, zero questions.
I emailed: No response needed. I did hear you when you said you needed space. I don't want to fight with you. It's hard not knowing how you are.
H response: I am doing good. When do you start your new job?
Me: I'm here now. My first day is today. :-)
So, there ya go. No mention of D. He replied. No demands made. It wasn't friendly, but it wasn't ugly.
That's where it's at, today.....
Tomorrow? Who knows. I'm seeing that I really can only take each day as it comes, and each day, no matter what H says....each day really stands on it's own.
I can't WAIT for work tomorrow!!
I'm so grateful that things have started to fall into place.
