I am so sick of living like this! I am so tired of dealing with this nonsense. I am over feeling hurt. This is so lame. I hate that I have to see him. I am annoyed that I always have to deal with his aftermath. This is so hard. Seeing him is killing me. He is a S.O.B! I think he is going out of his way to hurt me even more now. Why? Why would someone who was supposed to love me and protect me want to cause me so much pain? I just don't get it.
I had such a good weekend. I GAL all weekend. I felt free. But I just keep getting sucked back into the pain. I don't know how to make it stop. I am so freaking over it!
I saw this mutter fudder tonight. Maybe I am wrong, but I really feel like he wants to prove to me that he is so happy or something. He literally sat down at the game, right in front of me and started texting right away. Then he moved bc my mom and her friend were there.
I went out after d13's game to the foyer to work concessions for the varsity game. He came out a little after me. I was literally right outside the gym doors. He was ALREADY on the phone, talking! He was looking right at me and walking and smiling on the phone, like he was the man. Every time... as soon as he gets there... texting... and as soon as he leaves. Now he was talking! He doesn't have any friggin friends- it's so obvious it her!
But the way he came walking out- like he was king of the earth. Looking right at me, walking like he was saying, "F U, Mighty!" Then he walked past my mom and her friend and actually said hi to my moms friend. Smiled like Joe Cool and waved and said hi! I just saw her cringe at him! She was so uncomfortable.
What a jerk. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Pompous a$$. F,F,F! I hate that this baby is coming!!! I HATE IT! Maybe once it's here, I will just have to accept it. How am I ever going to be able to see that? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
