Mindsin - pt. 5 (back to basics)

[25yearsmlc]

I'm just winding down towards the end of another "family day". My W has been spending A LOT of time exercising/working out. Yoga class, Barre class, swimming at the gym, a DVD-based workout program. Yesterday morning, she spent 2 hours for her barre class (including travel time) and 1 hour for her DVD program @ home. Today, same thing.

why are you still monitoring HER activities? Why is this YOUR responsibility? (Oh wait, it's not...)

So in a span of two days, she spent 6 hours of "alone time" doing her workouts. I don't know if she even realizes (or cares) about the time she's spending away from her kids.

Dear Judge Mindsink, can you please stay in your own sandbox instead of judging and criticizing your wife, again...??

Today, we went to Chinatown. She went to a tea shop to get some good green tea. This was sort of unusual as I rarely if ever see her buy green tea. Instantly, my thoughts turned to the OM and I wondered if she bought the tea for him.


Can you NOT obsess or focus on HER (For 2 days? One?) and ONLY worry about your own problems and issues? Can you tell us how YOU are improving as a h or father, and or what YOU are doing to become the man you always wanted to become?"

She used to do thoughtful things like this for me, but obviously her mind and heart are elsewhere. It's kind of sad. The

MORE mind reading, ^^^and always negatively when it comes to her. Where are the changes you are making? This is STILL all about Her and OM--even when he's not in the picture, you re-insert him, ruining family time with your wandering mind but still blaming it all on her.

So, how is YOUR personal work going? Can we hear about that now?


last thoughtful thing I recall her doing for me was buying those dress shirts for me before I started my new job.

That was about a month ago!

Or, I could just be over-thinking it and the tea is either for herself or her father (this is very possible).

You engage in so much negative "stinking thinking" it's hard to keep track and it benefits NO ONE.

Did you ever watch those TED Talk videos I suggested? You need to b/c you are negatively programmed and it's a shame really.

I've suspected that receiving gifts was perhaps a secondary love language for her. Over the years, her gifts to me were always very thoughtful. I know that I'm not supposed to buying gifts for her, but maybe I'll try a little something, just to see what her reaction will be.


^^^ This is the opposite of a 180 OR a kind, loving gesture. IT's only done with an expectation (which she could FAIL b/c even if she is thrilled and grateful, you will find a way to spin it around and view it negatively) AND it's a "testing" mentality, but it's very indicative of where you were before AND still are.

Sadly, Not a great sign.



I plan on doing something very simple. I will print out a photo of the two kids and put it into a nice frame, so she can bring it to her work. If she won't display a photo of me at work (She didn't at her previous job -- the one she just resigned from last month), then maybe she'll display a photo of her kids, photographed, processed, printed, and framed by her husband.