It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[fthnluv]

Kml, thank you for all your tips. I will try my best to be cheerful, fun,sexy and flirtatious and NOT CLINGY! Gonna do my best to act "as if" and that I am ok, or even better than ok.

5) At some point, I'd consider asking him point blank if OW is pregnant. If she's not, the question might just introduce some fear into his thought processes (because right now he's in fantasyland and hasn't thought that far ahead). If she IS pregnant, the sooner you know the better.

Ugh. You are so right. I do have to do this. I need to know. Of course, he has lied about so much lately, even when asked point blank ("is there another woman?" "No") that I'm not sure that I can fully believe any answer he gives me. He claims that he only lies to me to "protect" me from hurt and I know he knows that this will hurt me very badly so I'm scared that he will lie and continue to hide the reality if it is actually true. I do need to ask though. Maybe not this week, depending on how things go at the pumpkin patch.

It's not that I disagree. It's that you are "hoping" for a good time with your H. This shows you're still looking at him for your happiness. When you do that, if he doesn't meet your expectations of what you think he should do, you will be disappointed.

Yep, you are totally right. I am hoping that we have such a good time that he comes out of his MLC, repents and begs me to reconcile. THAT is the truth. No denying it. But, you are right, I need to detach and let go of my hopeful expectations so that I am protected, emotionally, when they (likely) do not happen. I understand where you are coming from now, and I agree and I'm glad you pointed it out so that I can reframe my expectations and actions and not get so down when my dream of an outing is not so dreamy. Thank you.