Yes, that would be an ultimatum and would not be productive for anyone. What do YOU want, dawgy? Of course you'll never completely forget about the A, but do you think you could heal and forgive enough to eventually have a successful M? That assumes she eventually comes around, too, but don't worry about that for now.
You have to clarify your own heart before you can set a clear course of action. You've seen what acting without thinking does, especially for people like us who are in the midst of the biggest crisis of our lives. You now should know that doesn't work. So do something different! Start with yourself and your own desires, then we can help you with your action plan.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23