Magic, You are pushing the train up the hill and it doesn't work that way. You've got to allow things to progress naturally and the more you push and the hard you push, the longer it will take for things to work out accordingly.
Your partner may have laughed off your behavior of last night, but in the back of his mind, he knows you've not changed as much as you would like him to think you have.
What helped him to warm up to you was the fact that you were being independent, not jumping to accept every invitation that he posed to you, as well as living on your own and doing for yourself. Your insecurities, such as they are, i.e., pushing, impatience, neediness, always wanting clarification after he says or does something (which comes off as challenges/arguments) and yes, even wanting him to reassure you of his "commitment" to you.
Magic, you have received an enormous amount of advice that can and will help you, if only you would read it again and apply some of it to your situation. Your "fear" of him not wanting you is driving you to do the things that you once did. Have you given any thought to the fact that maybe your insecurities are what prompted him to ask you to leave in the first place? If he was in crisis, this behavior would not have been something that would attract him to you. It may have gotten on his nerves and he needed space and quiet time from your insecurities. Notice how you began to show signs of change and his interest began to take shape once again? Do what works and leave the rest behind.
Stop trying to fix him. You have to fix yourself first before you can even begin to try to work on your relationship w/him. You need to find out what is going on within yourself so that you can be the new and improved Magic.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
