Fresh separation - trying to play by the book

[Little]

I hope she'll realize she loves me and wants to be with me. It's very hard to accept that, but it's the only way forward for a healthy relationship. She needs to WANT to be with me, not just come back for convenience. I don't say that lightly. I hope I'll reach a point where I will have some standards to accept or reject her return. Right this minute, I would accept anything, but I know it means I'm not ready

I'm in the same boat.

I told BF (when I told him we can be friendly, but I'm not interested in being friends) that the bottom line for me is that I love him and feel like he's "home" for me. I don't care who did what to whom or why in the past (IE: I'm not keeping track of the wrongs like a score card), we can't change it. The past is only to be used as a learning tool for what to change and fix in the future, if he's ever willing.

This is the only condition I'll take him back under and I'd be pleased as punch if it ever happened.

But I'm not holding my breath, unfortunately.