Am I on the right track? (2)

[wmwb123]

Wet, her father was very strict, but not abusive. I love him. He's an awesome person. She gets along well with him. I respect him immensely. I would do anything for him.

I did all the begging and pleading before I found out about the affair, but in my STBXW's mind, she will still remember it as begging and pleading for an unfaithful spouse, so she has zero respect for me, I'm sure. Our contact has been very limited by her, so I guess that's a good thing. I haven't been able to mess up too badly (except for exposing the affair, if you consider that a mistake).

This panic attack I'm going through actually means nothing. Mediation is still at least two months away. And since we're not in contact at all, she will not see any kind of attitude change. The situation has not changed. However, if the divorce goes through, I will be finished. I'm willing to reconcile if she comes to her senses before the D is finalized, but after that, I'll be heading out on a new path.