I suppose we all have our different limits and only you can decide when you want to give up - or just feel that you can't hang in there any longer. I've found that GAL helps - and whilst there are horrible times, the time does pass - and mostly passes reasonably pleasantly. But not if I am obsessing about H and what he might be doing and thinking - or about them/her.
A month ago I started LRT and haven't initiated any contact since that. We have exchanged functional texts and that is it - and those are pretty infrequent. I'm prepared to give things a while longer. I don't want to divorce H, or at least don't feel ready to decide that I do want to divorce him.
But, I have really needed to work on patience, not having expectations, doing things for me, being centred etc. It isn't easy.
Some people decide to hang on in there even post divorce. But I think the important thing is to GAL, remain detached until or unless your S wants to reconcile, and maintain pleasant and constructive links if at all possible.
Good luck to you...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
