If you really need to say it then do so in a letter (which you burn rather than give to her) or in a post on here.
Just to agree with this, I had so many times in the last couple of weeks where I imagined W was here and talked and talked until my voice went regarding the things I cant say to her in person at the moment (confused the cats if nothing else). I also tried the letter writing idea myself but stopped as it was really upsetting me rather than helping and I was afraid I'd be too tempted to send it.
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015