two weeks till the move. I am excited and nervous. Excited to see my kids and spend time with them, even excited at my new possible apartment (will know this week) but I am nervous about seeing the wife for the first time in a month. She is definitly all business yet chatty on the phone. its a wierd contradiction that I 1)don't eve dare read into and 2) dont believe anything she says. She is trying to create this perfect future without us in it. promising the kids and herself all kinds of material things that her part time minimum wage job couldn't afford. Her plans now are to make a room in her moms basement for her and the kids sleep in her moms guest room till she can save enough money to fix up the mobile home that her stepdad used as a hunting camp. Other than that she says she wants to buy a horse and ride horses again, get four wheelers, snowboard equipment for S10 and snowmobiles. all that and save money on a part time job. Only reason I mention it is I am at the point that I beleive she is not accepting reality at all. I maintain NC unless she does and and am doing 180's, big ones for her to notice is even when she gets mean in a phone call I respond with calm and even validating answers. She now apologizes for it after she gets off the phone. that itself is a 180 for her.
In short I think its going to be a long road. I don't see the M as lost or Dead yet even if it seemed that way Lazurus was dead for awhile before Jesus raised him from the dead. either way I will continue to work on me, my life, and maintain a great relationship with my kids.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
