Is living together a mistake? She's indicated to me several times before that she never thought it was a good idea. I never asked why. Perhaps it's because she feels pressured or trapped by my mere presence, since she can't freely be this "new happy woman" in front of me.
Perhaps it's because having me around is a stark reminder of the painful feelings and resentment she's felt towards me for years.
The reason why we originally decided to continue living together was for the children's sake. We wanted to give them as normal of a life as possible, even through this tough time. The idea was, if we were to reconcile, we don't want to disrupt their lives. There is no sense in living a divorced life before we're actually divorced. That was then. This is now.
Right now, she's speaking to the OM over the phone, in the room directly above where I'm typing this post on my computer. Her tone is soft, and romantic. She's clearly living out her fantasy. I can't understand what she's saying because she's speaking in Chinese (her 1st language) with the OM, who is also Chinese. I think this is the 1st time I mentioned her nationality. She shares a cultural commonality with the OM that I can never compete with. Frustrating as hell.
Tomorrow, I'll be seeing my in-laws again (1st time since Friday, and before their "heart-to-heart talk" with my W). I'm sure they'll be anxious to tell me about what was said. At the same time, I know that I have to be ready to hear some things that I may not want to hear.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
