One if the hardest things, zimmy, is taking a break from it all. I cannot get it out of my head. Still can't. I took a retail mall job just to help keep my mind off of it all. It works but it's demoralizing though strangely fun in it's own way. And it often feels hopeless. It's hard not to wonder if the hope I feel is actually denial or naiveté because H feels so sure I'm wrong and he's right when it comes to whether this marriage is worth it.
