Inside My chrysalis 5

[Card29]

Ss, have you done any more yoga lately? Believe none of what you hear from WAH, and keep capitalizing on these "non"-dates. Don't forget to try to enjoy them on their own, too. If you're doing something with WAH and you both seem to be enjoying yourselves, just be happy to enjoy yourself and don't try so hard to find the meaning behind everything. In reality, there is probably no real meaning behind most of your WAH's words or actions now because he is very deep in his fog, still.

I was thinking about all of this today - the adjustment process for a LBS. I've been thinking it's all about GAL, detach, 180. Those help tremendously. But the most important thing, for me, is to face reality head on. Face it, but don't dwell on it incessantly for days/weeks on end. If you don't face the brutal facts of your sitch, you will delay healing and adjustment. I love the Stockdale Paradox...acknowledge all of the facts of your sitch, but also know your goals and pursue them with relentless optimism. That's nearly impossible to do for a freshly betrayed/abandoned spouse, but that's where the GAL and detach come in. When done consistently, they will prove to you that you can be independently happy. This takes (some of) the fear out of being left permanently. Then you can strike a healthy balance of being detached and independent vs. facing and processing the gravity of your sitch. That's all easier said that done, though, and when you're in a valley of the roller coaster, it feels like you're never going to get out.

Take care, Ss! You WILL come back out of this funk