Well, I can understand your frustration. This was a very unsettling exchange. Since we don’t know why she said these things, I don’t think we should be labeling your wife.
I’m also not going to fault the way you responded. Based on the situation and the way you received the information I think you handled it pretty well. In fact, I think you did a good job of detaching (as much as possible), pointing out consequences, and bringing her back to the marriage discussion.
One text interests me: “Then get the divorce papers and I’ll sign them today” followed by “I can’t afford them.”
This was a very interesting text.
When someone wants a divorce they file for a divorce and the LBS begs them not to do this. But not only does your wife keep threatening to file a divorce (with no follow through)--Now she is demanding that you to carry out her threat.
Is your first thought to the paragraph above, “She did that because she can’t afford to file.” I know its expense to file in Dallas because I googled the cost of filing for a divorce (with children) in Dallas and the cost is $336.00.
Although this sounds like a great deal of money it really isn’t when someone is determined. But it is an incredible amount of money for something you do not want. I thought this amount was extremely punitive for lower economic citizens so I did a little more research. There are services available to help indigent people (primarily women) file for a divorce if they cannot afford the $336.00 fee.
I find it interesting that your wife did not take the 2 hours necessary to research this information. I am a stranger with no vested interest in your marriage yet I was able to obtain information about where to could go for financial assistance for a divorce.
But, what I want to know is…was your first thought “She did that because she can’t afford to file?”
Because your first thought should have been, “Hey…I didn’t even realize that she was asking me to carry out her threats!”
The reason your first thought to this is important is because it will provide insight into the dynamics of your relationship.
I’m also intrigue by the way both of you behaved today at church and after. It provided more insight into your relationship.
Both of you completely avoid the mention of the text argument from last night. She doesn’t acknowledge her wounding words and even displays an incredible lack of empathy for your feelings (You sure are grouchy). To which you state “Yup.” To which she responds with Acts of Service.
This isn’t the first time she has done this. Are you aware that after she engages in inappropriate behavior she engages in in Acts of Service?
