I find myself thinking of ways to get this affair over with. I know that there is no guarantee I will "win her back" if that does happen. But I feel like I need to have hope and faith that we can be a good family, and a loving one if we can get through this.
I understand that my needs right now are to grow and heal, but I am having a hard time with these emotions and thoughts. I know what the right things are to do, but I find myself thinking of what I could do or try to "speed" things up. Then I calm down and realize I must not do anything. It's an endless pattern. I need help controlling it.
I cannot wait until the book arrives, to occupy my time more and learn to do the right thing.
