Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

saw the W at soccer game today. apparently the kids were bad today and she was sore from working out. D kept pulling on her and instead of jumping in like i used to (and she would snap at me and say she had it under control) i let her handle it. she turned to me and said "look, i'll pay you if you take her off of me." told her no prob and entertained D the rest of the game. later on W said "hey we communicated. i told you what i wanted and you helped without fighting." i told her i would've helped earlier but i didn't want to send the message that i didn't think she could handle it. i wanted to respect her boundaries. she said that for a lot of years she had held in resentment cause she thought i would see her struggling and wouldn't help her. i gently let her know that i made a lot of wrong assumptions too and i should been more available to give help willingly and not grudgingly. she looked at me very thoughtful after that.