"lazy" was written because its what Sandi labelled it as... so, I was going off the opinion of another. Lazy is due to his ways to offer a proper date or to admit what the overnight/work away meant to him. He did clarify it (that he wanted time away with me), once I told him that it was not obvious to me. Lazy/and what I am learning about and whether its good enough or not, is very new to me. I was in a relationship for 20 years with a person who didn't know how to fully appreciate me (although he did...just didn't admit it often enough) & has recently said (when we went for Keg dinner) that he appreciates me so much more now (this was not a prompted comment but random!). HE is beginning to treat me better & is kinder & nicer to me. He still has a way to go to live up to the standards that others would consider their base line. I am "learning" to have a standard. First, I want to see if his intentions are to pursue me... this seems to be happening (sure, still in such a small way... but I cannot expect grand gestures just yet).... I am happy for a "start"... I will want and seek bigger ... later as we progress on. I did not see it as a half-hearted approach, so I will think on this one... maybe it is.... hmmm
I do believe (ATM) that he is coming around & warming up to admitting his feelings & wanting to be committed again....because he said so. We had such fun last night. We laughed and we were playful. It was nice. The best part was when HE cuddled into me to fall fast sleep... and how ALL night long he kept reaching for me just to reach out to have his hand on me. He seemed to get comfort from that too.
Then today, reality & back to work... busy day. He was nice & at the end of the day he was commenting on how nice it was to "sleep" with me and commenting again on how much fun I am (still).
Now, I realize that he is probably not fully ready and its possible that I could be destined for more heart ache. Therefore, I am being careful & going to go slow. I do believe that if things continue like this, it will naturally lead back into my CLTR (like he said he wants).
Tonight, he offered for me to come over & have pizza with him... I am going to decline & instead grab take out with DD & watch some TV & go to sleep early (I didn't sleep much... he SNORES!!).
Does my explanation indicate any better? or does everyone still feel the same?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
