Well, I know for sure that I still have anger come from time to time.
We had a short R talk this weekend. He said that I seemed a bit distant sometimes and wondered if I was upset. I told him that I was still struggling with the things he'd said (while yelling at me and packing his cloths awhile back). I said that I felt like he was telling me I had exceeded his timeframe for "getting over it" and felt like any thoughts or feelings related to the reasons why we are now piecing are things I can't discuss with him anymore.
I told him that I was not happy with him being mad at me for having normal thoughts and feelings at this stage. I said I wished he'd learn more about this whole process and how all of my reactions were NORMAL. I said I wish I could lock him in a room full of women who'd been through the same issues in their M's so they could explain things to him (any volunteers?????)
I told him that it wasn't that he was doing things all wrong, just a lot that he didn't understand and I wish he had a Chilton's Manual!
He apologized for "making me feel like I can't talk to him" and admitted that he was only trying to avoid his own guilt and discomfort. That in itself is a big deal--as I think he's told he "I'm sorry" only 2 or 3 times since the bomb.
I wish he'd talk to me about all of this guilt he says he's carrying around--what he thinks when he's feeling guilty--what triggers it. I think that might help me with some of the anger I have when I feel like he just doesn't "get it".
