It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[MrBond]

"If asked directly if there is OW, what should I say? "

Just say "I appreciate your concern. I know you deeply care for our family. If you want to know if there is another woman, you'll have to ask my husband." Then smile and walk away.

"My pastor says I cannot lie"

He's not Jiminy Cricket. And besides who told you that you had to lie? You just don't need to tell anyone that he's got OW.

"As much as I would like to keep off this topic tomorrow, I can't."

Why? Are they holding you hostage? Are they demanding answers while putting a gun to your head? Don't be so dramatic. It's no one else's business but your own. You're not lying if you don't say anything.

"This is both our families and too many people already know about the D to keep the rest in the dark. MOST those that know of the D do not know about OW, I sort of danced my way around the truth to appease them but I can't do that anymore and claim to be a Christian who does not lie."

Again, no one told you to lie. RIght now you're going through the same thing that many LBS's go through. You "feel" the need to tell EVERYONE about how hurt you are, how wrongly you've been treated, etc. Calm those thoughts. All that's going to do is to have everyone you know have a bad opinion of your H and when he comes home, he'll have to deal with all of the damage that YOU caused.

You might as well have him wear a red A wherever he goes.