Continuing DBing after the affair

[Sotto]

It seems reasonable to be held to account about your actions when you are a married man and looking to reconcile. But these actions took place in a small window of time when you thought you were a 'single' man and that's different I feel.

That said, your W clearly has some concerns about things. I wonder whether it would help to explain to her what your motivations were at that point, what you were seeking and why.

Being desperate to get laid may not cut it - but what were you seeking emotionally at that point? It sounds as though you had hoped your W might spend New Years Eve with you and chose not to. Did you think 'New Year, new start?' Or were you seeking some reassurance of your attractiveness, or just wanted to let off some steam?

I can see it is pretty frustrating that your W has concerns, given her own infidelity - but in the spirit of honest communication, if you could help her understand what was really going on for you at that point, might that help?

I can see that at that point, you may have been facing 'the end' with no idea that your W would return just a few days later - and perhaps she might understand better if she knew how that felt?

Anyway - just a thought...hope this helps..