Well, it all feels rather strange. We've been together for a decade, have raised his kids/my kids, and now have managed to walk through the hot coals of the aftermath of infidelity.
Part of the reason we're doing this now is because we're not getting any younger here and if something were to happen to one of us, there is risk. Even if a State recognizes Common Law Marraige or Meritricious Relationships, the feds don't. In reality, that means that military retirement $ and medical care would not be available to me if he died.
Both of would have our social secruity $ go to our ex-spouses if we died. THAT is unacceptable, no way!
I suppose that there is also the factor that makes many couples decide to renew their vows when they are recovering (piecing) after a crisis in their marraige.
Yeah, Shiny---it DOES feel kind of surreal at times given how long we've been together.
I would prefer something much more low-key (Justice of the Peace?) but he wants a shindig with tuxedos and all so we're doing that.
Also surreal: every so I often, I still get SO F**KING ANGRY at him for what he put us all through! There are moments when I look at him and wonder "WTF am I thinking to marry someone who was capable of all those lies and deceit?".
It adds a whole new meaning to the term "cold feet" to have piecing issues going on at the same time as planning a wedding.
I keep it to myself most of the time these days because he's sweet and affectionate and loving in a way that I used to always WISHED he'd be! I think his days of being Stone Man are over.
Quote: I suppose that there is also the factor that makes many couples decide to renew their vows when they are recovering (piecing) after a crisis in their marraige.
I for one agree! Sometimes renew vows or in your case getting M, shows to all the world you are committed!
Glad you are getting a better man than when you went in, stones don't make good H's.
There are also breaks in taxes by being M. My H just found that out. He thought it would be better to file separately (someone told him) But the att said that is hardly ever so. It is much better to file jointly as you can get more deductions. Also instead of 10% filing jointly, H would be in a higher bracket and would then go up to 25%. Of course I knew all this before we went! But knew it was better if the Att told my H those facts. Glad I zipped my lip!
So, I'll quit my rambling! LOL. I think what you two are doing is great, go for the gold! And know wolfie is making a big leap here, actions speak louder than words! I could almost cry with happiness!
Quote: Also surreal: every so I often, I still get SO F**KING ANGRY at him for what he put us all through! There are moments when I look at him and wonder "WTF am I thinking to marry someone who was capable of all those lies and deceit?".
You mean this isn't normal?
Seriously, Tal, just the other night I passed the hallway, looked up it to where CJ lay sleeping peacefully and shouted a silent "F*** You!".
Hey, if we can have flashbacks of pain, why not anger?
I still like shooting the finger in my pocket or at the phone... course, I really thought I was over that, more mature than that, that I had GROWN out of that, but, alas, NO...
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
