B-V2, to answer your question, I feel free of him and his craziness, his neediness, his lying, cheating, and overall lack of character. It's a relief not to be tethered to someone like that.
When we were together, I know he loved me. He has had some neurological difficulties this year, which started with seizures and now is treated by medication that affects his moods. I think this set him off into a midlife crisis, and now he's overturning his universe. If he showed any interest in working on things with me, I would do it. But he doesn't, so I get to wash my hands of this crazy person.
All-- I have a question/dilemma. On Tuesday, when H told me he was "seeing someone," I told him that D14 was very suspicious that that he needed to clear the air with her by telling her the truth that he was indeed seeing someone. H agreed and said he would keep it "general." Last night I took D14 to an event and when we were driving back to H's place, I asked her, "Did you talk to your dad?" (She said she wanted to open up to him more.) She said, "I told him I didn't want him dating anyone right now." I said, "So he told you he's seeing someone." She said, "He is?"
I had TOLD H that I didn't want to be the one responsible for sharing this information, and I guess I should have been more careful when questioning D14, but I assumed from her answer, and from H's reassurance, that he was going to have this conversation with her. So now D14 is mad at H, and it's my fault (in his view.)
I called him as soon as I got home to apologize and explain how I had misunderstood what he meant when he said he would be honest with her (!). He was mad and said that he didn't intend to share his private life with her. In other words, he plans to continue dating and keep it secret, in spite of the fact that she has asked him not to. I personally could care less whether he dates or not. I am SO done with him. But it kills me that he thinks it's okay to lie to our D14 and sneak around. Whatever.
The bottom line is: this is someone I never want to be with again. NEVER. There is nothing at all attractive to me about him. NOTHING. He is just not the man he used to be.
It drives me crazy reading the posts above about how people can go from loving, positive, caring spouses -- posting nice things of FB, etc. -- and then suddenly turn into these narcissistic aliens. I'm not wasting any time on him anymore. Life is too short. I will act with compassion toward him during the dissolution process and while we sort things out for D14, but that is all.
Angry today, obviously.
Last edited by Ahoy; 10/18/1401:04 PM.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
