Healing or Stuck?

[Zoo]

AH...that old "intuition" again

I am still amazed at the number of people on the BB who talk openly about this and I find it very helpful in my own sitch

I think H is freaked by my "intuition". He uses it when it suites him and blows it off when it doesn't

I have proven it to him time and time again...he just doesn't like it when it puts him in a negative light.

I informed him of it before we moved in with each other. I thought it was important because there are times when it becomes "insistent" and I blurt things out.

He thougth it was cool when I described his housetrailer to him over the phone...down to the placement of furniture, color of carpet and the variety of plants that sat on the kitchen counter. I lived in OH at the time and he lived in VA...we hadn't seen each other in 2 years.

He freaked out completely when he called me one night on the phone and I DEMANDED and explanation as to WHY he spent the night at a hotel the night before and just WHO he shared the room with. He hung up on me...then he called me back, asked me how I knew and then told me that he and a guy friend got too drunk to drive home so they stayed in a hotel. Since the room was dark in my "flash" I did not know if the other person was male or female...the friend later told me the same story of his own free will.

When I told h of my "flashes" of OW though...I was just imagining things, seeing what I WANTED to see

Now I just try to ignore this stuff as much as I can. I've gotten to where I question myself and I'm NOT positive that my emotional state is not the culprit.

I wish that I could state myself, the way some of you have, to my H. I guess I'm just not ready to go there just yet. Maybe after I have quieted my internal dialogue a bit more I'll be more ready to "look" at my own sitch.

Hugz,
Zoo