Do I walk away from WAW? (1)

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Thanks wet. Its hard to know where to draw the line, its definitely way more of a zig zag. I find that there are many areas where ive had no problem detaching or changing my behavior with her. Scheduling my daily routine without her factored in has been a good one. Handling financial matters as if she is not involved has been empowering (and way less chaotic than when she was handling them). moving myself into the office, and generally conducting myself as if i dont care if she comes or goes, has given me a lot of peace and restfulness.

But then there is this health stuff, that trips me up. On the one hand, i have always "taken care" of her, but i know that one complaint she has about me is that i am not emotionally engaged with her when she is feeling ill. So I struggle to figure out if i should be staying fully detached, or if its a 180 opportunity, for me to really be there for her. Bringing her exactly what she likes for lunch when shes in the middle of a stressful day at work falls into that category for me, or at least it did this morning. Now i just feel like a chump with a W headed out for a nice carefree weekend without me. After a day where i got up at 6am, singlehandedly got the boys to school and sitter, went on a field trip and tromped around a barnyard with a bunch of kids all morning, then worked 8 hours. This just su#ks.

At any given moment, I feel like i hold the power to just pull the plug on this. I even thought about doing it just now, as she was walking out the door, saying "oh by the way, i do think you should move out at the end of the month. enjoy your weekend". but i didnt. i have a hard time trusting my instincts. i also thought about swinging by OMs house on the way home and leaving him a printout of things to do in the town they are headed to, so clearly i have plenty of impulse ideas that should not be followed through on!

i will take that advice though wet. tomorrows actually going to be awesome. i have a saturday off for the first time in forever, and its probably the last nice weekend of fall foliage. making cinnamon rolls with the kids in the morning and then enjoying the day. who needs W.