Shiny: you probably felt compelled to write it because you are not one to run from the truth or practice denial. You know that there are things that you did that helped your marraige along to the place where it got (no you are not responsible for what CJ did) but we all have mistakes we have to own up to, don't we? You also have youself to pat on the back for all of the work you have done to pull things back together.
LOL. I am just thinking of some of the early-on things that freaked Wolfie out re my intuition.
We had been dating, but not acknowledging that we were dating for several months before I realized that he was downright besotted, but I would have to take the bull-by the horns, so to speak. Within a week, he was telling me that he wanted to marry me, but that he couldn't BELIEVE he was saying that! He actually accused me of using some kind of Indian love medicine on him!!! I told him that I could have done that, but had no need to.
Not long after that, he was telling me of his upbringing and how difficult it had been to be brought up with little to no knowledge of his native culture. The poor man was so disconnected that he "thought" he may have some connection to canines and told me a story of how the wild dogs used to follow him around when he'd go visit his family on the rez--the wild dogs that every one else was terrified of. As a boy, he'd been given the nickname of "Puppy-Boy" because of the way the wild ones would follow him around like pets.
He told me of his g-g-grandfather, the hereditary chief of their Tribe, and how he had dreams of that ancestor, particularly at important life-events.
I laughed and laughed and told him about how he was Wolf and what that meant. I teased him and said, "Puppy-Boy" ain't no proper Indian name for a full-grown man, I can't marry nobody named Puppy-boy!"
The NEXT morning, Wolfie woke me up and looked shaken up. He had dreamed of his g-g-father, who had told him some words over and over--getting frustrated that Wolfie didn't understand what was being conveyed.
I told Wolfie to write them words down--phonetically as they sounded, and call his Aunty up to find out the meaning of those words in that Tribe's language. He called his Aunty and she was shocked to hear those words, not only because they were in their old language, but because those words were his gg-father's Indian name.
Of course the name has to do with his gg-father's connection to wolves also.
I told the Aunty that this had happened because I was disrespectful and had teased about not being able to marry any "Puppy Boy" and obviously he had been given a real Indian name now. I told her that I was going to apologize to their ancestor and put out a spirit plate for him.
That is the true story of how Wolfie got his Indian name.
The ancestor he inherited the name from is also the one who I drempt of--who showed me the infidelity even showed me what that OW looked like.
I can understand that it must be real spooky to live with us who can "know" things in a way that can't be known in the logical sense.
Then again, how many of us have experienced that "gut" sense before confirming an A?
