Wife in denied but ongoing affair, what to do???

[blndsid]

So about last night. I started the conversation talking about the last couple weeks, how things had seemed to change between us in a good way, that'd we'd turned a corner. Spending more time as a family and more physical contact, etc.

I then told her that recently it had come to my attention that her and OM were in fact still carrying on an affair. She cut me off and asked how I came to that conclusion. I asked her do I have to have pictures? You know what you're doing and what you're planning for the conference next week. She said she didn't know what I was talking about.

I then mentioned again about her flight itinerary, how W and OM names were on the same flights there and back. She denied. I told her it could all be found online. She then admitted that yes, they were on the same flights there and back. That's about where she stopped talking. I told her I hadn't asked her a question in the last 6 weeks that I didn't know the answer before I asked. Every lie you told, I knew as you told it.

I continued with the script best I could remember it, about it being disrespectful. That I did not want a divorce, but I wouldn't stand for an open marriage. I said I was not afraid of divorce like I was 6 weeks ago, even though all my counselors had told me I didn't want a divorce with a 3 and 5 yr old. Told her you have to end it now and work with me on our marriage. I would work with her and had already started to make my own changes. I told her I was never going back to how I was, never. I told her I had made changes but apparently she had not made the changes she said she'd made. I could only change me, and she could only change her. Then I told her we both have things to think about.

I paused on occasion to to see if she wanted to say anything, but nothing beyond the "how do you knows". I then told her whenever she wanted to be truthful about everything that I'd be willing to talk to her about it, but only if she wanted to talk truthfully about it.

Paused again to give her a chance, but nothing, a little tearing up. I stood up and walked towards our front door hallway and stopped. I said the only reason I'm still in this after 6 weeks of straight lying is because of the boys. I repeated that I was not afraid of divorce like I had been before. Then I said when I have the conversation fifteen years from now, when the boys ask about what happened with our marriage, that I would be able to tell them the truth. And that I'm confident they would understand why dad did what dad did. That was the only part where my voice cracked a little, regarding the boys.

I paused to give her a chance to talk, but she just looked away with tears in her eyes. I repeated that we both have things to think about. I told her goodnight and I'd be back in a couple hours, then I left.