T2, you and I have been on the same page on this lately. Wolfie used to say I was "controlling". Maybe in some ways I was, but in many ways I was also a complete whimp. For the first time in my life, I was honest-to-God in love an was afraid to lose him...so I put up with a lot of things I shouldn't have.
I have learned that he really does need to hear many positives for every negative and is very sensitive to critisism, so I have to add a "spoonful of sugar so the medicine goes down". I won't stay silent anymore, though.
Through this god-awful ordeal I have had two things really hammered home: yes, I really do love that man deeply, but I have self-respect and self-love. I have boundaries. If they are crossed, I will follow through because I am not afraid of being alone. You can love someone like crazy and they could still not be good for you.
I actally have more faith in him than he realizes.
