Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

A couple of things I told her during our MC session:

1. I don't need you. I'd be fine by myself. But I want you.

2. I think when we sell the RH it would be a good idea to get your own apartment so you can have some solitary time to yourself to recuperate and find yourself again.

I was trying to keep the pressure off. She told me before the session she doesn't want to feel forced into making any decisions, so I did the 180 and told her those 2 things.

Too bad I opened my mouth about the online women. I don't think she appreciated that. But it's her problem, not mine. I was blamed for everything that went wrong in our marriage. She keeps dredging up the past, over and over, relentlessly. And I'm getting tire of it. Beats me down emotionally. But I persist. I don my spew jacket and carry on.

Once we sell the business she'll be free with a pocket full of change and can take 2 months off to get her head screwed on straight. How she comes out of that sabbatical remains to be seen.

I'll just have to keep up with the DBing and detachment. I'm getting better at the detachment, so much so that I don't even want her moving back home, until (and unless) she has fallen in love with me again. I don't want a W in the house who isn't in love with me. Too close for comfort and non-productive. More chances for negative interactions. I'll just wait and bide my time.

It took the marriage 5 years to fall apart. With work I can only guess it'll take 2-3 years to stitch it back together.

Patience - zen-like patience. And if it doesn't happen, at least I'm a better man at the end of it all. Keeping on the self-improvement path. PMA & GAL.