Oh, one last thing. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming fast. If you go to some of the PFLAG websites they indicate that this is an extremely stressful time for people who just "came out." Part of the stress is that the holiday season is all about family and traditional roles within the family.
Your in-laws, especially you MIL probably has huge expectations regarding seeing "her family" which is probably her daughter and grand-daughters, but now you MIL has to figure out what the hell to do with her daughter, her daughters lesbian lover, and the father of her grandchildren. You MIL is probably freaked out and you W not really being there for her children probably has her more freaked out about what she wants to do to have a "traditional" holiday.
Anything you can do to proactively tell you MIL that you are there for both her and your daughters to try to give all of them the best holiday memories possible will be a blessing to her. It will be interesting to see if your MIL wants your W and her lover for the holidays and if she wants you to bring her grandchildren and leave. If that happens make sure you have an extra special Thanksgiving and Christmas with your daughters. For your oldest D, make sure she knows that her boyfriend is very welcomd.
Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
