I told Wolfie that I had lived for years with that sick feeling in my stomach...not knowing what was going on, but knowing he was keeping secrets and knowing when he was lying. I told him that I had lived like that for a long time, and won't go back to that. Most of the issues were around money--but actually he would lie about ANYTHING he thought would upset me.
Now, if flags come up, I WILL not just sit and live with that. If I know he's lying about something--I obviously can't force him to be truthful, but I can remind him of how our R is affected by dishonesty.
I guess the rules of the R have changed a bit.
He seems to really appreciate that I didn't flip out about this or shame him. I hope that will help him the next time something like this comes up. If nothing else, he's gotten a good reminder that my intuition is nothing to underestimate.
