I'm realizing that one of the things that really hurts is the idea that their wedding is a celebration of the very thing that hurt me more than anything I've ever experienced and almost killed me. That a bunch of people, many of whom were formerly family and friends, would come together to celebrate their affair-turned-marriage is horrific. Our society's seeming inability to find fault with cheaters is disturbing.
For a time, I thought I'd let go entirely and did not wish anything for her - good or bad. I'm sure there is some karmic logic that I'm not comprehending in your suggestion that I pray for good things for her but that doesn't resonate for me right now. The best I'm capable of is thinking of her neutrally, as I would think of an inanimate object like a rock. And for the time being, I'm not even capable of that anymore. I mostly just want them to magically disappear along with any recollection of the last 20 years.
Me:40 EX-WAW:39 M:9 T:19, No Kids EA/PA with co-worker started: 9/24/12 - ongoing ILYBINILWY, S:9/25/12 MC 9/12-12/12 D: 9/13/13 EX-WAW and affair partner marrying 10/17/14
