Why would you even respond at all? Do you think your xh doesn't already know what's going on with his son? That his son doesn't want to be pestered? And if you do respond telling him anything, aren't you devaluing your son's trust in you?
At most, and I don't see why you would respond, you could just tell him that's between him and his son. But I wouldn't even respond. Silence sends the same message.
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I am feeling the distance with xh. Maybe I am accepting that he is happy and really committed to this new life. At first, I thought that he had made an impulsive decision and that he would quickly regret it. Well... I don't know either way. But, I guess for my own sanity, I have to realize that he may truly be happy. Honestly, I don't know how he could be. He did tell me, during one of our 2 "talks" since nuke that he is not happy about sitch with kids (several times). When I pressed, "No, xh, are you happy with your life outside of the kids?" He said, "Yeah, I'm happy." Now, it was not convincing. Maybe because he wasn't, maybe it was hard to admit to me, maybe he hasn't thought about it. I don't know. I just have to assume he is. How anyone can be who did this to their family, well... if he could be after doing this, well, that just reinforces that it someone I don't want to be with.
Can I just tell you that you need to stop mind-reading?
If not, I can also tell you that about a year ago, after a lot of harassment etc from ex and her husband, my ex decided to tell me how happy she is. It was something she said she was leaving for - she felt she deserved to be happy and that I deserved somebody better than her etc (normal for this boards, right?) I don't know about you, but I rarely have people explain to me that they are happy. Especially when I try not to talk to them.
Don't mind read. You won't get it right. But you will be able to notice, a long time from now, what's real and what isn't. Your perspective will let you know.
More importantly is how you feel and how things are going with you and the kids.
Let the rest go by the wayside
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
