WAW + divorce filed, Becoming-V2 - part 1

[B-V2]

Thank you F, for taking the time and giving such detailed feedback.

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You have read the “focus on you” sentence probably a million times – now you have to implement it.
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Real and full detach is indeed the hardest part. I now starting to understand it much clearer why this is an absolute must.

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We LBHs seems to be so focused (at first) towards saving the R that we forget the most important thing in all of this: Ourselves!
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Yes: so true also for me.

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I would suggest Hold on to your N.U.Ts, 7 habits, Psyko Cybernetics, How to win friends and influence people in the digital age as starters (should keep you going for a week or two )

(If you want further understanding about Rs I have had great pleasure in reading “Co-dependent no more” and “his needs, her needs”. Start with the latter.)
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Thank you for those suggestions, I will order these and read them all (while also continuing with GAL and 180's).

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You want her to think “WTF is going on” but not followed by “what an idiot – does he really believe that this will work….” You want the “too little – to late” not the “to much – to fast”. I got both
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Understood.

And as answer to your 2 questions:

1/ Because a letter can be re-read over and over again if so wanted by the receiver, while a conversation gets filled with more noise over time (and/or important words missed out or not heard or forgotten more and more).
Also the writer, me in this case, can really express exactly and as clear as possible what the relationship and loss of connection - and re-finding it - is all about. As time can be taken/used to write such.
And yes: I do fully understand that as long as the WAW/ex-wife is not interested in such, it will never happen in the first place.

2/ No OM: to the best of my knowledge till date. Am I 100.0% sure: can we ever be?