afraid I have waited too long #4

[nit84]

Well my W has been gone 3 weeks now. I am doing ok.

I am in forced NC. I do not know where she moved to and she never gave me her new cell # since she got it in June.

I really have no desire to talk to her actually.

She has contacted me twice by email. The 1st time was last week to tell me that a mutual friends 4 month old baby passed away. I didn't see the e-mail till the following morning.

W: Heaven gained another angel this evening, little Baby passed away. No answers yet.

Me: I am heartbroken for them, I have been praying for a miracle ever since I found out how dire baby's condition was. I did not know he passed thanks for letting me know. It is so very sad. Me

I saw her at the funeral but we really didn't talk.

When I arrived at the Funeral Home W car was in the parking lot but I didn't pay any attention to it thinking well, she is inside and I will play it cool.

I got out of my car and headed directly toward the door. I heard a car door shut behind me and the quickened pace of high heels behind me. I just kept walking. The heels slowed to a walk and I recognized the walk as my W. I continued inside and consoled the family without looking back at my W. She did acknowledge me after we talked with the family a bit.

During the service we stood on opposite ends of the room. I glanced over a few times and she was tearing up just like I was so at least she still has some emotions. She left pretty quickly after the service and that was that.

At the wake, the baby's family asked me if the W and I drove together. I said no why? They said it seemed strange the way she followed me into the Home.


Then Yesterday W e-mails me to ask if they is any mail or packages for her. I waited till early this morning to respond.

W: Hi, Do I have any mail or Packages? Thanks, W

Me: There are a few pieces of mail but no packages have been delivered.

I think I have done a good job at detaching in the 3 weeks that I have been alone in the house. I am cleaning the way I want. I am packing up things of W that she left behind and putting them near the front door so if she ever comes back to get stuff it will be easier for her to be quick about it.

Still GALing.

It does bother me when she emails me though. I don't think Oh, hey she is missing me and that is why she is contacting me.

It bothers me because of the way she left. I knew she was leaving there was no surprise but she emptied the house of more stuff than I thought or she told she would be taking.

It is just material things but it is the principle of it.

I hope she knows that I don't like the way the move went down. I know she doesn't care what I feel but I certainly hope she knows that I think the way she did it was wrong.

I have no desire to talk R with her at all. No desire to talk at all really but I want her to know that I wont be disrespected by someone who has chosen to move out.

Thoughts and advice about what other things I should or could be doing would be appreciated.