I think your realization regarding your bedroom dynamic is really significant. I'm sure it's frustrating that you can't demonstrate your new understanding of that dynamic (though the opportunity may present itself at some point ;), but you can probably still find a way to implement your new approach. As you seem to understand, I would pull back a bit here and try to implement these approaches of emotional support.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together