I've dropped the rope....

[Sotto]

I agree with some of them - trying to be 'perfect' - which links with the sense of fun. I do have issues with being accepted by people, and try a bit too hard, rather than thinking people can just take me as I am. And not truly saying how I feel about things - I find it easy to say positive stuff, but less easy to raise concerns - which I think links to a fear of rejection.

So, if there were two things I would really like to change, they would be these above.

I also accept our love life had lost some spark - but I struggle more with the "buttoned up & corporate" - that's not how I would see myself.

I also accept that I didn't understand how unhappy H was. Partly perhaps because I was happy & didn't want things to change. But H has also acknowledged that he didn't articulate things well - described himself as putting out "weak signals."

I also wasn't happy with the "dressing provocatively." I said to H I didn't mind this now & then, but in general I like what I wear and am happy with the way I look. We had to disagree on this one.