Nope, I would not go to MC. Not now, anyways. He is not ready to work on the R.
Re-read about the LRT. You have to communicate about your D, so you can't disappear completely, and going "dark" doesn't mean going "angry" or "surly" or even "non-emotional". IMO, you can still be "friendly" even while you remain detached.
As for how to get past these feelings? Well, of course you have these feelings. It is normal and natural to feel this way. Let yourself have them. Let them wash over you. I remember a turning point for me was, one night, I sobbed full throttle for like 2 hours. Full-body, loud, writhing, gut-wrenching sobs.
It was so cathartic, and after that I was ready to not feel so angry every time I saw him. I can't explain it. It just happened like that for me.
The other way to get past those feelings is to GAL. Reconnect with friends, find new friends, find new or old interests that you lost along the way. See the beauty in yourself and in the world around you. Read inspirational things. There is so much good everywhere. Positive THOUGHTS and ACTIONS leads to positive FEELINGS. So, think positive thoughts, and do positive things, and eventually, you will have more positive feelings. It really works!
And, don't hesitate to ask your doc about trying meds (temporarily, maybe) to get you through this roughest stage. I resisted meds for years and years. But now I am a believer, and can say that it's been a game-changer for me. Eventually I'd like to wean off, but that won't happen until I'm ready to sleep well, exercise more, and am much healthier in general. I'm not there yet, but I'm moving in the right direction and that's what matters most.
As for what he says? Eh, believe none of it, and only half of what he does. COMPLICATE HIS NARRATIVE. You can do this.
