I want to thank everyone so much for the gentle and firm feedback!
You are all correct (of course). And honestly, if this M has any hope of working, he has to REALLY want it.
So, I'm working on acceptance. Bought myself some new lacy "things" (ahem). Started PT with an AWESOME T who I can tell is going to get me ready to start exercising again.
And, confession time: i resisted the urge to reach out to my H, but did, in a moment of weakness, reach out to my MIL. Well, actually SHE emailed me to say hello and ask how I was doing, how work and D3 are. Very lovely. I wrote back with details about myself, lots of good things going on in my life... and then added "I don't know if I will ever understand H's mindset or choices or beliefs (that feelings can't change, for ex), but I cannot control that. I am just working on being the best ME and mom and co-parent I can be."
(Hiding my head in shame).
As expected, crickets followed.
So, I followed up a couple of days later with an apology that I realize I had overstepped a boundary, and I want us to have a warm relationship, so the last thing I want is for her to be afraid to reach out to me b/c she thinks I'll just whack her with some awkward emotions.
She did reply to that message: I understand. I love you and D3 very much. I want us to have a close relationship, which means being open and honest. But, it's probably best if we avoid talking about H and the separation. There's just too much emotion and discomfort involved. Love, MIL
Deep breaths.
So, tomorrow, I put on my new lacy things, have a great day at work, (participating in a new special project I was chosen for!), and GAL with a friend at an art opening in a very hip part of town.
