Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?

[Shakspr]

Hit a new thing tonight. Looked at the past...and wished I had not married this woman. I know what I've done. I can also now look at what she's done. To me, to our children. The compromises that I made in an effort to keep a peaceful home. This isn't so much a blame thing...just a desire for a different past. Again, this is pretty strange and I'm well aware that it probably selfish. Trying to find a way to accept my current reality.

I doubt that this emotion sticks for long. But it seems...helpful? I know that sounds weird. Just another paradigm shift. Maybe I'm just tired of sobbing and feeling pitiful.