He did give you a lot of information about his state of mind, though. Somebody else better qualified will come and talk to you about the details. I will say: he has given you context for how friendly he's been, and he's given you more information than he may realize about where his head is.
He did? I'm so in my own fog right now I don't see any context for how friendly he has been or any new information. I really need help interpreting because I can't think this out.
I know I need to let him go through this. I know it deep down but in that same place I am not good at letting go, at accepting. Maybe I need a book on acceptance. Frankly, I'm so tired of reading.
He even threw that at me. He said he wants someone who can be nice to him without having to read 10 self-help books and tons of therapy to do it. ouch. And then buttoned that up with "I'm just being honest"
I really have never felt this kind of pain before and I just want it to stop. I am short with my D because I can't get this off my mind. I'm back to not eating and I know that if I allow myself to slip into a depression I will likely not get out of it and what kind of mother would I be? I can't do that to D.
Just when I thought my heart couldn't break into any more pieces, it does. I'm not sure it can be repaired. How do I even start that?
He doesn't see that the things he's saying to me, the things he's doing to me are all things I've said to him and done to him which is precisely what he's complaining about.
Card, your quote from Sparky about the bad feelings lingering inside perhaps will be seen as something unhealed inside of him rather than something about me... He generally already realizes that but blames me for the unhealed part completely. He has already said that once he makes a decision, he's resolved to it and nothing can change his mind. I know that to be true. Can this not be an exception?
Maybell, I want to believe you that all will be well but I don't see how. I just don't. How can it ever be well?
I am only now realizing that I don't think I CAN be well. I honestly don't see how. Will I just have to live with the pain of regret for the rest of my life?
I've been at the end of my rope before. I really have but I've never been so far gone that I couldn't be talked into working on something with help and support. I guess I've never let myself get that far gone. He did. I hate him for that.
