I'm in the process of reading DR. Up to Step 5 the last resort since that's where I am. Plan to do more this weekend when my son is with H.

Issues with my M. Ok here goes:

1. Step- Daughter: I don't know if you remember in DR when Michele talked about how she would 'soften' the blow when her husband tried to discipline their daughter. This was the same situation with me. Every time I went to discipline her, he would cut in, tell me I was doing it wrong and get mad at me. That would in turn cause me to resent her. My treatment of her did decline, and we became him/here against me.

2. Depression: I became pregnant with our son as soon as we got married. This came with a lot of hormonal changes and sickness. It got better but everything going on with my step-daughter caused me to be depressed and only focus on my baby. Then, when my son was born, I became Post-partum and was put on anti-depressants. I was on them for awhile, but they made me feel tired and just totally out of sync with what was going on.

3. Money: My husband is always thinking about money. That's all he talks about. We never had enough, and when we did, we always spent it wrong. To me, this wasn't as bit of a deal as the other two, but it's there.

4. We never spent time together! I was too afraid to leave our infant son with someone to go out. I was very anxious and nervous, and so we never left the house unless my mom could come and babysit (she lives 4 hours away so it was hard).

5. The Affair. His selection of whom this affair was with is confusing. He was with a woman before we met for about a year, and this was the woman he "re-connected" with, I suppose. They were talking since July until I found out about it in September. I'm not 100% sure that it's over, but I do know that she lives in VA. I somewhat think he did this as a last resort to get me to leave, but then idk why he just didn't file for divorce. This was the last thing I expected from him and honestly, there's no excuse for it. I guess I'm forgiving of it, but not completely. I understand why he did it, but think "Well, I was unhappy, and I never thought of that." Divorce, yes. An affair, not even the slightest.

The trust is, I do love my husband. I love my step-daughter. I guess I just need to pick myself back up and start all over again.