Quote: He thinks his POV is all RIGHT and mine is all WRONG regarding the basics of what it takes to rebuild our relationship. He wants a "do-over" and get's pissed that I'm the kind of person who needs to process things.
Seattle brought up how Wolfie isn't equipped with all the R-tools that you are. Do you think maybe he might be receptive to some coaching? You could look at it as a way of asking for what you want. A good intro could be ... "being right is not always solution to get you closer to where you want to be." Can you think of a example that he might relate to that you could bring up where you took the stance of being right kept you from goal? Also, it could help to come up with an example of how taking a moment to "walk in another's shoes" can help with understanding where that person is coming from and how that is more important than who is right or wrong...
I'm almost afraid to look at the dates...I think you and I both had the biggest fight with our H's in a LOOONG time, right around the same day...
THIS time it was ME who said "Maybe we should just get a Divorce!"
I'd brought up some stuff from that new book I'm reading...YES I DO still have questions about the A (or more to the point...HIS mindframe at the time)...and somehow it got turned around to something he'd heard that I'd done...A YEAR ago at that infamous wine and Sambuca party....
Then came up again, how I didn't "get" how badly I'd treated him "before"...tears...yelling...
It was a nasty scene...When I yelled "those words" in the heat of the moment...CJ had to run to the bathroom...he was sick, he was moaning and wailing...
I withdrew the comment (as best I could) right away, yet he reported feeling his entire life slip away...
Wait, before I go on...this is YOUR thread!
Just know that you are NOT alone in this stretch of piecing.
Hey Tal, wondered where you've disappeared to. Come on now, where are your insightful words of wisdom....your vents...your humor....in other words, where the hell are ya?
T2
